I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
