Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
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