Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
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