We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize