Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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