check it out our google latitudes are spooning
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Randomize
