barbara walters just said penis...
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
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