he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
