Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
i've created a new STD.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Randomize
