It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
