Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
