from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
