Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Betty ford says i'm here all night
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
