my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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