I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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