so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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