i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
