so explain again why im purple
no
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
