she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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