I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize