id be glad to
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
