It's Friday. Sex?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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