My room smells like vodka and shame
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Randomize
