Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Just pee around me
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
