im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
