On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I AM VODKA MAN
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
did you just send me my own nude
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Randomize
