just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
