absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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