i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
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