I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
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