I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Randomize
