Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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