Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
