Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
