but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
