The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Randomize
