I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
