if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
