You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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