Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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