look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize