either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
