Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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