Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
