My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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