How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Randomize
