Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
