susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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