thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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