my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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