I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
