haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
We need a shit load of segways right now
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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