Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
