New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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