Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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