do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
