how can u be prego again
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
