He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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