very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Randomize
