Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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