his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
