this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
